Friday, February 17, 2006
~This aint me... or is it?~From wad i see of myself the past few months and all. I really haven been taking a great interest in my studies anymore. My results were not onli bad, they were horrible. Where is my drive and motivation that was in me in my Poly days?? I cant do my mid terms, my assignment papers were crap. One prof even feedback and asked me to "be mindful of improving ur writing". Yes i write like a sec school kid. Gone are the days when i was been praised for good essay (in primary and sec sch!?!! One of the best I was then) But now? Look at the state i'm in.
Looking tired and restless, taking no interest in my daily life. Slack for all I am worth. Wad!?!! This is not the ME, my frds knew of me. They were shocked!! My close sec sch gf was shocked! I am shocked myself.
I cant go one like this anymore. It time to pick myself up and do wad Adam Khoo (yes that guy!!) used to tell us. "Do it ONCE and do it RIGHT" My drive, my motivation, my eagerness to strive were mindful of his words back then. Since i choose this path, I MUST do it right and once.
Lesser late nights, more concentration in class. NOTES and READINGS to be completed. No more Blank blank blur blur minds into exams!! I used to walked into exams and out knowing that I aced it. Not passed it ok, is ACE it. (not bullshitting) Now I walked out feeling like crap, HOPING that i can even pass, or if i can even finished it. One week to pick myself up. ONE WEEK to bring myself back to the equilibrium.
I am actually feeling sad, very sad of what has become of me. No wish to say anymore.... I need time to think.
When you dont feel loved (enough)… you wonder… if its worth it
♥ 
